children Archives - Journeys Are My Diary

Decoding Dreams

November 11, 2016 by Bel

Dreams have been a huge topic in our house recently, especially as both my girls tend to have them every night. For me, I don’t ever remember having dreams as a child (though I’m sure I did) and for the majority of my adult life I barely had any either. Many times my friends would talk about their dreams and all I could say was “I don’t really have any”. However I’ve noticed over the last few years I do seem to have more and as I’ve always known, its my brains way of processing everything that happens. I don’t know if I have a more stressful life nowadays, or maybe more things happen that need processing – but whatever the reason, I definitely have dreams more often than not these days.

Last night, I had one of those dreams that you’re not really sure if it’s good or bad. The dream itself was good I suppose. I don’t remember it clearly now (and honestly I’m trying not to as well) but my dad was in it and it was happy and I was happy and there was love. However when I woke with a start this morning, I realised it was just a dream. Then there was that bittersweet moment as reality set in that my dad wasn’t around and that I couldn’t talk to him or see him, or hug him as I had in my dream – as he died twelve years ago. All morning I’ve felt a bit shaky, a bit like I want to cry and the truth is I know why I dreamt it, as there is family drama going on – especially that which involves my mum and I can only imagine how much she might be missing him right now.

Luckily though, Lily came down this morning and was all chatter about a weird and wonderful dream that she had. The girls always make me smile with their dreams as they’re nearly always happy, but if not then at least strange and funny. They used to have nightmares a lot when they were younger and I put most of that down to the fact they had good imaginations so they worked overtime when they sleep. Now I’m glad they are better at enjoying their dreams and can make the most wonderful stories based on them. Sometime we try to pick apart what their dreams might mean and I’ve sometimes even googled the odd thing when it’s been a really specific dream.

In association with Adjustamatic adjustable beds, I wanted to share this video about explaining kids dreams. I love that as a child, your mind sort of protects you from the bad aspects of your thoughts and puts them into more relatable stories in your dreams. That said, as far as my bad dream went last night, seeing my dad and being able to hug him again was actually a really special part of my dream – so maybe our mind is always looking out for us, in its own way.

Things No One Tells You About Divorce (From Someone Who Knows)

September 15, 2015 by Bel

This post has been contributed by Alex.

...And Then Sometimes Valentine's Day Sucks!

As you know, I’ve had a divorce thanks to family lawyers practicing in Boca Raton, and so I know how it feels. Some people think that a divorce is the end of the world, but that is not the case. Despite what you may think right now, you will carry on and live your life. When a relationship comes to an end, it is best to let it go. Trying to hold onto something that’s no longer there is not healthy. In the long run, it will only cause you more pain than you need to feel. If you are thinking about getting a divorce, it will be best if you would consult a divorce lawyer for legal advice and assistance. If you want more divorce information you can learn the facts here now.

Your kids should be your priority

If you have children, you need to put them first. Many children find it hard to cope with a divorce. That is normal. The most important thing on your part is that you support them. They need to know that you both love them no matter what. Kids tend to internalize things and think that everything is their fault. You need to make it 100% clear that is not the case. You don’t want your children blaming themselves for this issue. Instead, you need to show them that you care no matter what happens.

It doesn’t have to be painful

Most people think that divorce has to be super painful and long. In reality, you can get a divorce that is almost painless with the help of experts in family law. The experts at Quick Divorce say that it can be much faster than you imagine. If you and your partner agree that it’s the end of the line, things will be quite simple. All you need to do is talk to your spouse about what you both want. If there is no bitterness between you, there is no need to make things hard. You should help one another through this time. You should also view the page for help with child support. Let your divorce attorney help you on handling your legal concerns.

It will be hard to explain

When you get a divorce, there is one thing you will notice. Everyone will expect you to explain why you’re getting it. Don’t worry – people just want to see that you are okay. If it all gets too much, you can tell people to back off a little. They will understand why you need space. Of course, you need to explain the divorce to your kids. They have a right to know. Don’t worry too much about everyone else. You can talk to them when you are good and ready. Before that time comes, you don’t owe them an explanation at all.

You will feel better soon

Believe it or not, you will feel better again soon. When you end a relationship, it can be tough. It’s hard to get over a breakup. It’s even more difficult than that to get over a divorce, find out more at the link. When you file the paperwork, it will all feel a little surreal. Just go with it. In due time, you will start to feel like yourself again. That is all you can ask for in the long run. Remember, sometimes marriages don’t work. That’s not as bizarre as you might think. You need to make sure that everyone is happy, including yourself. If divorce seems to be the best path towards that goal, get yourself a good divorce attorney to help you every step of the way.

Guest Post – The Move from Cot to Bed

January 19, 2014 by Bel

This is a guest blog by Emma from Mellow Mummy as part of her January Blog Swap on the theme, New Beginnings. You can find Emma on Facebookand Twitter.

Last weekend we moved our youngest daughter out of a cot and into a toddler bed. This was nowhere near as stressful as I had anticipated it would be.

Last week I blogged about Hollyand her monkey-like behaviour. She can be… excitable. So the idea that she would be able to get up and wander around the house at night was mildly concerning. But, it had to be done. Just before Christmas we had experienced “the pooh incident” which I am sure is some kind of rite of passage for toddlers – or is it just my children who feel the need to wave a dirty nappy around their cot?

It was “the pooh incident” that had caused me to move my youngest daughter from a cot to a bed when she was just 16 months old. Holly is now 20 months and last weekend she learned to scale the cot bars. After two nights of escape from the cot, I decided it was safe without the cot bars than with them.

So. Bedtimes. They’re interesting now.

Holly has always slept so beautifully. She has always settled effortlessly and I feel a bit cheated to have had all that peace and reliability torn away with such short notice. Surprisingly, bedtimes without a cot haven’t been as horrific as I had prepared myself for. We have a routine with stories, music and a sparkly light show which still seems to work well but the most effective bedtime soothing skill I’ve learned is babymassage.

We hadn’t done any baby massage for a long time but, on that first exciting night in a big girl’s bed, Holly needed something to calm her down a little so I offered to rub her feet and her toes. It brought a massive smile to her face and she instantly stopped fidgeting. She kept asking me to swap feet! Then I moved on to her face and head, gently stroking across her forehead and her eyes began to close. Finally, I circled my hands firmly round and round on her back until she was totally asleep.

The baby massage techniques have helped to settle Holly on most evenings apart from one horrific night when it took me over two and a quarter hours to get her to sleep. Joy.

February 14th… bleck!

February 14, 2013 by Bel

So despite having a partner on Valentine’s Day, I still can’t say its a day that I especially look forward to. For a start I always considered it to be an overly commercialised holiday anyway, and secondly it seems like a day geared for disappointment. How much do you spend on each other, what do you get, how much trouble do you go to in order to make the day special etc. etc.? This last point is highlighted for me this year in that despite not caring for the day, I’m upset my partner has to work 8am to 10pm, thus not giving us any time together! Irony much?

Anyway I’m definitely used to spending this day by myself, having been single for the last 2 of them and even before then having a husband who always had to work it (hospitality and catering is a bugger for that). Also I suppose on top of all that, doesn’t help that it is also my wedding anniversary today (with my ex of course) so its not exactly a day for celebrations and proclamations of love. You might catch yourself going “awww” at the fact my wedding day was Valentine’s Day originally, but honestly it wasn’t really that romantic. My husband (my ex) and I were just opening up a brand new restaurant, in a small town, and Feb 14th was available at the registry office. It was suggested that we could combine getting married and promoting our wedding – having the radio and newspaper there to document it. Doesn’t sound like much of a story I know, but for a little town they seemed to find it sweet that a couple opening a new restaurant were getting married in the morning and then serving 100 customers a Valentine’s meal in the evening. Anyway on a plus side I do have newspaper clippings and a radio recording of our wedding, though now we’re separated I suppose that means less.

Hmmm anyway, enough with the musings, there was a point to my post today. Oh yes! Valentine’s Day lol. Though I do think its overhyped and I do have issues with the day itself, I also think it IS a good day for telling the people around you that they’re important to you – the ones you love. For the last two years (and even before that really), the only people I’ve had around to love have been my children. They love Valentine’s Day. I think some of that is because I’ve always bought them a small gift on the day, usually some tacky cuddly toy that says “I love you” in some form or another, but also because at nursery and at school, they always seem to get them to make cards for mummy and/or daddy. I’ve always considered this to be sweet as like I said before, I consider it a day to share love with everyone, not just a partner.

Yesterday the kids had a lovely sweet idea for Valentine’s Day, for my partner. As I said, he’s working 8am till 10pm today and the kids think that’s sad for him. Having already asked the girls to be my Valentine’s dates today (we’re making heart shaped pizzas for dinner and eating by candlelight apparently) they’ve decided they want to try and make it special for my partner too. My youngest daughter Lily, decided that she is going to make him a card when she gets home from school today and my eldest daughter Megan, decided we should make him a heart shaped pizza for when he gets home tonight. It has also since been decided that we’re making him cakes and cookies – and last minute as I was driving the kids to school this morning, apparently we’re now also making decorations.

Anyway the long and short of this post is that despite the day being something it shouldn’t be – so far as bought cards, bunches of expensive roses, huge boxes of chocolates and so forth – the day does at least inspire love from all places. The fact that the day makes people WANT to do something special, is the part I agree with. Not the fact that we feel obligated to.

The only two people guaranteed to be in my heart every Valentine’s Day <3